Tuesday, August 5, 2008

pehla pehla pyar

there are some incidents in life without which life would have been very dull, the repurcussions at that time mite have been undesirable but reflecting back at them always brings smile to you.

story about chunni lal and paro....names are fictitious but characters are very real.

chunni lal had been in an all boys school from kindergarten to std 10th...all his love interests had been pretty teachers in school......one sided love affair with the beautiful and sensuous biology teacher was the longest and most serious of the lot.
things changed once chunni lal started with class 11th in a co-ed school. suddenly there were just too many hot gals around. bollywwod movies make most of us believe in the funda of true love. in the first week only of new school it happened.....during lunch break in afternoon....the big ground populated with students from KG to class 12.....the area around canteen crowded the most......there stood paro close to pavement of canteen.....5 feet 6 inches....blunt haired.....beautiful angelic face.....the perfect figure.....fair skin......just too beautiful....it was love at first sight....
paro noticed chunni lal ogling at her totally dumbfound.

the way they looked at each other said a lot
chunni lal: all i want is u!!!
jill: dude! there are millions here that want what u want...

this one sided puppy love continued as chunni lal could never gather courage to walk up to her and tell her which pple mite have told her million times over. so it turned out to be quiet affair but the impact was quite loud in 1st term results. from handsome 88% in 10th board exams to abominal 49% now while flunking in maths :)
nothing changed much other than the route taken by chunni lal back home.....it started from school....to paro's home..driving beside or behind her scooty all the time till the time she reached home and then back to his home. then there was more travelling as it was vital to escort paro to her to physics, chemistry and maths coaching classes. all that burning of fuel added a lot to global warming...
they talked for 1st time thanks to diwali fireworks....
diwali fireworks echoed for a long time in chunni lal's life.....
memorable nite for wrong reasons......3 frnds on bike...bitin at delicious chicken leg pieces......1..2...3...........20 so called gedis of paro's house where she was celebrating diwali with parents.......the perfect impression a guy can make on a gal's family......
next day......the phone rang.....call frm a senior teacher from school.......complaint frm paro's parents against chunni lal .....mom answered the call.....rest as they say is history.......after 2 hrs chunni was sittin at teacher's home lookin down with shloks flowin in full flow.....mom , mam and her daughter....all were non stop......"man....what did i do....i did nt say nething" thought chunni.....but apparently thr was smthing too wrong with wat he had done.....
after few days wen chunni met paro they talked for 1st time....

chunni: y did u call up my mom...thr was nothin serious
paro: it was nt my decision...u choose to show ur heroics in front of my family!!!
chunni: neways.....tell me where do we go frm here
paro: wat do u mean?
chunni: obviously u kno wat i want....
paro: i dnt kno...wat do u want?(so typical of gals)
chunni(wtf man, y is she playin around): i wanna be a close frnd( how stupid was that proposal!!!)
paro: we r already frnds!!....all my schoolmates are my frnds...
chunni: i wanna be a close frnd...smone who can talk to u regularly...call u up at odd hrs
paro: u already call me up.....u just dnt speak after callin
chunni(smiles): btw...does ur num end with 15 or 51....i have to call up both to make sure....ease me of this pain...
paro: fine....but thr is a conditin....u have to come to my home to meet my parents....it wont be much of a pain....u keep comin to that area....
chunni: i just want to be frnds.....i m nt askin for ur hand.....
paro: then i wud want to talk to ur mother on phone 1st......if any of these can happen....then we can be gud frnds....
chunni: this is like visiting assasin or commiting suicide....
paro: now its ur call...
chunni: i mite consider coming to ur home if u promise me that u will nt leave ur dog untied....
paro(smiles): dnt worry.....his bite does nt kill.....

somehow pretty gals are very tactful in saying no to arbit proposals......the story did nt end.....they went to same college where chunni chased her around for a while.....now she is happily married :)....and so now they will live happily ever after.....

Saturday, August 2, 2008

the beer diaries:




i am in the business of spreading happyness.....my work is to make sure more and more pple drink beer....responsibly as we proudly say....but frankly we wont mind any one gettin sloshed by gulping 3-4 bottles of foster's/haywards 5000/royal challenge/haywards black/knock out/castle lager.
i work for SABMiller...the largest beer company in the world today. we want to make sure indians drink more and we want government to allow us to achieve this noble aim by easing the policies. our country still lags way behind in consumption of beer....per capita consumption of 1 ltr per yr compared to global avg of 22.....czech republicans consume 156 ltr beer per yr per person....must be a very happy nation....
our vision....to take india higher
our mission....not leave anyone sober

till the time inbev acquires budweiser, SAbMiller will continue to be the largest beer company in the world....not a bad place to start a career in sales and marketing after completing mba from premier b-school of country. i had dreamt of this....a top notch mnc....lots of travel.....staying at best places.....flying all across the nation with those fancy travel bags and wearing business suits.

honeymoon started wen we joined in bangalore...stay at a lavish guest house....chauffer driven cab at disposal....welcome party at a hep place with unlimited foster's. for quite a while we were the big blue eyed boys....back to back ppts from all the big shots discussing strategies for all brands and business development..
the first tryst with reality happened wen company made travel arrangements to send us to delhi for regional induction....the blue eyed boys that are paid about 1600 bucks a day travelled in a train that took only 42 hrs to reach delhi....
dreadful policy num 1....no air travel allowed....ofcourse we can spend and travel if we want to...
royal treatment continued in delhi durin regional induction.....thought of delectable north indian food for heavy lunch is still mouth watering...one more party...this time at 'club saphire' in gurgaon....needless to mention bout unlimited foster's again...bakra halal karne se pehle party
4 of us were sent for brewery visit to god forsaken place called neemrana in rajasthan...we were supposed to learn how beer is made....the highlight of the visit was tasting the chilled freshest draught beer ever... 3 days in neemrana...had it been more than that then maybe boredom would have claimed some lives...
thank god we came back to gurgaon for 2-3 days before i and one more MT were sent to jaipur for a one month sales stint...
august in jaipur.....september in delhi......oct-dec in bangalore.....jan in hyd...feb in delhi/bangalore.....march in aurangabad.....this is gonna be my life in coming 9 mnths... dreadful policy no 2.....we have to arrange for our accomodation at every place from the day of arrival onwards....use our hra for our stay....our company firmly believes that gettin a place to live fr a mnth is like a walk in park....we have been adviced to stay with frnds :)
so here we are...2 of us in jaipur... the royal treatment is over.....for the past one week we have been travelling to daru ka thekas in burning heat and hot sun laughing down at us....someday the salesmen take us separately on bike, someday on the extinct bajaj chetak.... theka( wine shop) is not the best place to spend bulk of your day when passing by ladies look at u as if u r the social evil personified.... neways...past one week has been very similar.....dust...sun....wineshops.....daily sales report....drinking ghat ghat ka pani....eatin at roadside dhabas....this is just the beginning...